Reflection

Reflection

I met a man today who seemed familiar. I seem to recall him, but from where I can’t remember.

I looked in his eyes and he reminds me of things I’d rather not think about. He speaks of a past I’d prefer not recall. 

He brings up hidden memories which were buried somewhere deep. 

He tells me of a time when him and I were inseparable. The things he says scare me.

I stare at him blankly. He’s so convincing. He smooth articulate his points.

He talks about the fun we could have again. He says, it’ll will only cost a little. Now I’m curious. I should leave. Am I actually entertaining this? Could he be right? Would it be more fun with him? Could I make the journey where he’s encouraging me to go? Would I find love, joy, or peace? Would there be others like me who have a deep need and desire within them? 

My thoughts are racing as he stares at me. He doesn’t say much now.

I stand in silence, desperately searching…

At last I remember. Without breaking the gaze, I remind him the times we spent together are coming back clearly. He smiles. I remember you, I say, returning a smile. I remember the long nights you and I spent together. The drinks we shared, the parties, and the clubs. I remember the different situations we found ourselves in. I remember you always enjoyed yourself much more than I did. 

His smile fades.

I remember while you laughed, mocked, drank, and partied, I was breaking, bound up, not speaking. I remember the chains around me. I remember you didn’t seem to notice I was slowly dying. 

I have not forgotten you, but obviously you do not know me. If you did, you would know I’ve died. You would remember this is no longer my life. 

Now you remember, I say, after seeing the truth in his eyes.

Do you recall what happened after I died with him? I ask. He chose to give me a new life!  

Do you remember now?

Do you remember when I told you to leave? Remember when I took away your entertainment, and removed those contacts you treasured? Remember when I told you we couldn’t party anymore? Even if you don’t remember, I do.

I remember watching you struggle for air. You desperately clung to life, but I had to walk away and let you die. I had no choice. It was, after all, you or Him. Your choices led to your death sentence.

I know it doesn’t make sense to you. You want to live for pleasure, for the moment, for the next feeling, or fix, whatever they may be.

That’s why you had to die and now, here you are looking in my eyes, reminding me of good times, as you affectionally referred to them. 

What good times! The tears? Depression? Sorrow, or grief? The endless attempts to flee from the gentle call of the One who now lives in my place? Maybe you’re referring to the mistakes? The pain, or poor decisions? The regret? Greed, or the shame? Tell me which of these you’re referring to? That’s right, I remember. I have not forgotten. 

You thought you could come back and pretend nothing changed, and undoubtedly, you’ll return again. I just hope when you do I still remember. As for now I must turn away from this mirror and say goodbye to you. 

Written February 15, 2015 by me, but the Glory goes to HIM