Until now, we’ve been discussing the Mystery Marriage eluded to in Ephesians 5.
Ephesians 5:31
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother
and hold fast to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.”
v32 “This mystery is profound,
and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”
This week, we’re switching perspectives and looking at marriage more personally.
Marriages start out in different ways.
- Some bring baggage into the marriage because of unresolved hurts.
- Others started with unrealistic expectations.
- Many do not know what being a Godly husband or wife means because they came from a broken home.
- Others came to Christ later in life and never saw an example of a Christ-like marriage growing up.
All of these things can certainly pose a major challenge. Both my wife and I came from interesting home lives. I had a very strained relationship with my father. I didn’t exactly see what you might call a Christ-like example as far as a husband went.
On the other hand, Lisa came from a broken home with an absent father.
Early on, just before we were married, we realized that neither of us knew how to be a good husband or wife. We needed help. In our situation, many would turn to pre-marriage counseling. Although I find nothing wrong with that, we chose a different path. We held hands and called out to God. We told him that we had no idea how to be in a Christlike marriage, and without his help, we were sure we’d mess everything up. (You’ll find humility carries you further with God than anything else.)
Over 11 years later, I can undoubtedly say that our marriage hasn’t been without its challenges. Lisa and I still had much to learn about what a Godly marriage looked like, and we’re still learning. I can say that I attribute our marriage’s successes entirely to God and nothing else. It certainly wasn’t due to either of us.
Now, as if there weren’t enough challenges with marriage just because we’re human, we who have accepted God’s beautiful invitation to be part of his family are met with an entirely different challenge, and this is what I want to point out today.
We’re heading over to Ephesians 6, but we need a Key Point before discussing today’s scripture passage.
Key Point: Eph. 5:22-33 deals with the Mystery Marriage and gives instructions to Husbands and Wives. Chapter 6:1-4 gives instructions to parents and children. Chapter 6:5-9 gives instructions to bosses and workers.
Notice a trend in the passages about? Each deals with relationships. Please pay close attention to how Paul suddenly switches gears in verse 10. Paul begins wrapping up his letter by saying,
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.”
Verse 12 contains the major point for today’s teaching.
Verse 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
Acknowledging a spiritual kingdom of darkness with the agenda of warring against the Saints can be intimidating. Many churches like to ignore uncomfortable passages like this, but ignorance isn’t how we fight our battles.
Verses 10-18 give us instructions about fighting back against these Satanic powers.
What does this have to do with marriage? Continue along with me, and I’ll show you.
I don’t expect everyone to have experienced what I’m about to say, but I suspect many of you have.
I mentioned earlier that Lisa and I prayed and asked God to intervene in our marriage. In fact, we asked him to wrap his arms around us and hold us together, and that’s what he’s done many times.
Several years ago, Lisa and I started enforcing a rule in our house that I can only attribute to the wisdom of God. When we found ourselves getting frustrated with each other, we’d stop and pray. Even if we’d gone full-blown argument mode, we’d stop and pray. This is particularly hard to do when you’re really getting heated, and your next comeback or retort is right on the tip of your tongue, but that’s when it’s most critical.
Now, what does this have to do with Ephesians 6:12? Glad you asked.
The passage tells us who our true enemy is, and surprise, it’s not your spouse.
Imagine this: you wake up excited to go to the house of the Lord and worship. You get dressed, and you’re looking snazzy today. The belt went easily into that notch…you know the one I’m talking about, that special notch, which means you’ve lost a few pounds. The kids got dressed and didn’t do anything crazy for once. Perhaps you felt like you work for MAC as a makeup artist with how fantastic you look. Everything was going great…until you got into that car to head to church, and that’s when all hades broke loose. Does anyone else know what I’m talking about?
She said, he said, they said, and next thing we know, shots are fired, and it’s like some crazy battleground in our car, truck, or SUV. What happened?
While I can’t say it’s a spiritual attack 100% of the time, I can’t rule it out, either. Countless families on Sunday mornings, nights, or Wednesdays show up, carrying the burden of what was just said by them or about them in the car, sometimes as they pulled up into the church parking lot.
I’ve found that sometimes, these are spiritual attacks intended to hinder our worship and prayers.
Consider this passage:
1 Peter 3:7
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding,
giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel,
and as being heirs together of the grace of life,
that your prayers may not be hindered.”
How about that argument the night before? You know, the one where you finally give up, switch off the light, roll over, and tell them not to talk to you anymore? Perhaps it’s more like we’ll talk about it in the morning, but you know that’s wrong because the Bible says
Ephesians 4:26,
Be angry and do not sin;
DO NOT let the sun go down on your anger,
v27 and give NO opportunity to the devil.
So, you went to bed angry and didn’t resolve the problem, which is disobedience. Now, there’s strife in your home, which we just saw in 1 Peter 3:7, which will keep our prayers from being answered.
Now, here’s a bit of advice for you. Learn to discern the difference between a spiritual attack and someone needing space after a long day.
In truth, sometimes, when we get home from work, it’s just been one of those days, and we need a little time to decompress. Perhaps you’ve had the kids all day, and although you love them, they’d gotten on your last nerve because children come out of the womb with an innate ability to do that. So, you need a little time to recover your usual cheery disposition or whatever your normal is.
Tips:
- Don’t get your feelings hurt if your spouse doesn’t feel like hearing about your day as soon as you walk in the door.
- Give them space.
- Remember, it’s not personal.
- Step away and pray for them.
- Trust God to touch their heart and mind.
I will tell you that not all spiritual attacks are created equal. Some are fierce and feel like the Devil himself is orchestrating them.
Here are a few indicators I look for to see if it’s possibly spiritual.
- Were things going fine, and then suddenly everything went south?
- Does your spouse suddenly seem absolutely unreasonable? No, not just in your opinion, but seemingly unwilling to stop and hear anything you say?
- Do you feel like you’re losing control and overcome with anger and are unsure why?
Although those aren’t guaranteed to be caused by spiritual attacks, I find that, more often than not, these are indicators that something’s trying to cause strife in our home.
So, to wrap things up, I can’t say everything is a spiritual attack against your family; however, I can undoubtedly say that some are. When they are, you have the authority—dare I say the obligation, to stop and pray, which is how you fight back against these attacks. We disarm these attackers when we stop, humble ourselves–yes, even if it’s the last thing you want to do–and pray.
Why allow Satanic forces to come into your home and cause strife? Isn’t it better to identify the attack and fight back? We certainly wouldn’t permit a robber to come into our homes and attack our families, so why do we permit the Devil free reign?
2 Corinthians 2:11 …so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.